Pamla Pyykola's Testimony
As a child growing up, I had attended many different churches and learned a lot of amazing bible stories. As I got older I didn’t seem to learn much more than I already knew. Some how I missed important and valuable information that growing Christians need to know. No one took the time to teach me about what God wants us to do and learn, so I as a believer in Jesus Christ could teach others what is most important in life.
I didn’t have someone I could trust or look up to for help in any major or minor things in life. As I grew up and got older the people in my life that I cared about left me one by one and I felt as if I was all alone. I was given instructions from the man who sexually, physically, and psychologically abused me to not say a word or my sister would die, because I had fear of my sister dying, I said nothing for a long time, I was truly alone. I said nothing to other adults for fear of losing what little comfort I had as a child from being with the only other person that I had been with all of my life, my mom.
My dad left us when I was 7, he just left and never came back, no news of knowing if he was dead or alive. I did not have many friends throughout my life as a child. At the age of 8 years old my life drastically changed; no dad, moved a lot, mentally abused and sexually abused. I thought there was no one that could ever help me or take away all the pain and suffering I went through.
My mom couldn’t protect me from the many things that I was going through. My sisters were taken away when I was 11 years old. I had so much fear and hurt. I became very angry inside, I never showed my emotions for fear of having to tell others why. My anger was so great that when I prayed I promised the Lord that if they took me away from my mom I would become the most disobedient child I could possibly be and I would run away from all who tried to help me. I was in the only place I could be and that was with my mom, that meant that I didn’t have to talk to anyone about what was going on and my sister was safe and I had my mom.
At the age of 13 we began to go to church every Sunday morning and evening, Wednesday and all the church functions that there were for the youth group. I still had no trust for any adult and told no one of my pain, the only one that truly knew was the Lord and I wasn’t sure he really knew. I had not remembered that the Lord is the one that helped me when I was 11years old. I wasn’t sure that I could trust the Lord yet. I still hurt, was angry and felt betrayed by the world.
We had been going to church for about a year, at the age of 14 years old I went down to ask the Lord to come into my heart and be baptized. I know I asked for forgiveness of my sins, but I didn’t know that I knew what my sins truly were I wasn’t so angry but I was still hurting inside and I still had not forgiven those who hurt or trespassed against me. I could not receive the full rewards from God, because I didn’t understand that I needed to also forgive those who trespassed against me. I was still hurting and trying to figure out why or what I was supposed to do. I wanted to do better but was not sure that God wanted to help me.
The pastor asked me questions I did not understand till I was older and wiser to the word of the Lord. I failed high school, 5 marriages and several relationships, had 7 children one of which I had an abortion, drank, smoked, lost custody of 2 of my children, 3 of my children where sexually abused and I didn’t know it, came close to losing my 2 children that were still at home, because of the sexual abuser that I didn’t know about, I lost my job, lost my place to live, lost my license and lost my van.
We moved in with my mom and my daughter wanted to go to a Christian teen function called Aquire of the Fire (ATF) and her little sister wanted to go too, but they wouldn’t let her go. I wasn’t happy about that so I decided that I was taking them. I prayed to the Lord that he would give me the things that I needed to take them. Not long after this prayer, I bought the tickets, got my license and a van. On the second day there I knew the Lord was working on my heart and I knelt down and re-dedicated my life to the Lord. I asked for forgiveness of my sins and I finally knew what the pastor was talking about after so many years. I felt different like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I started reading my Bible more and tried to pray every day. I gave up all the things that I knew that God wanted me to give up. I prayed for the Lord to give me a good Christian man. He answered my prayer. He is good looking, college educated, loves the Lord, knows Greek, and he loves me for me.
I even forgave all of those who hurt me and my children and continue to forgive as I should:
Matthew 18:21-22
21. “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?”
22. “Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.“
Ephesians 4:32
32. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
The words forgiving and forgiven are from the Greek word Charizomai. This word means a grace forgiving, it is a forgiveness that should be given to others freely with no expectation and no strings attached.